When most people think of children in foster care, their minds go to toddlers or maybe young kids clutching stuffed animals.
But what about teens?
The truth is, teens in foster care are often the most overlooked group in the system. They’re older. They’re misunderstood. They don’t fit neatly into the “cute and cuddly” narrative.
And they need us. Badly!
Many are entering care after years of instability. Some bounce between homes. Others face aging out with no real safety net. But here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: teens want the same things every child does, belonging, safety, and someone to believe in them. They just don’t always ask for it.
Why Teens in Foster Care Are So Often Missed
First, many foster parents hesitate to take in teens. There’s fear, of behavior issues, trauma responses, rebellion. And yes, teens can be challenging. They may have walls up. They’ve learned not to trust too easily.
But here’s what’s also true: teens can thrive in the right environment. They just need people willing to show up. Foster care for teens isn’t about fixing them. It’s about showing up consistently. No matter what.
What Makes Teens in Foster Care Unique
So what makes this age group different from younger kids?
- They know what’s happening.
Teens understand when they’ve been let down. They can read between the lines. They remember where they came from and it affects how they respond. - They’re caught between childhood and adulthood.
One minute, they’re kids needing love and structure. The next, they’re navigating jobs, high school, social media, maybe even parenting their siblings.
They’re preparing to “age out.”
In New Jersey, once a teen turns 18, many are expected to transition to adulthood. But let’s be real, how many of us had life figured out at 18? Without long-term support, many face homelessness, incarceration, or dropping out of school.
Real Needs, Not Just Real Talk
Here’s the thing. Most people want to help, they just don’t know how. So let’s talk about action.
If you’re supporting foster families from New Jersey or want to, here are a few things teens actually need:
- Encouragement. Notes. Texts. Mentorship. It matters.
- Gift cards. Let them choose what they like. It’s empowering.
- New clothing in teen sizes. Especially trendy or brand-name if possible. Dignity matters.
- School supplies & tech. Many teens are trying to keep up with school with outdated or shared devices.
- Personal care products they actually want to use. Think edge control, deodorant that smells good, lip balm, lotion, etc.
And don’t forget: teens notice when something feels secondhand, literally and emotionally.
What The Village Does Differently
At The Village, we see teens. Really see them.
We ask what they like. We let them pick their own clothes. We keep our shelves stocked with things they’d actually choose for themselves. And if they say, “No thanks,” we listen. That, too, is a form of respect.
We also work hard to normalize the teenage experience. Not just “foster teen”, just teen.
We celebrate birthdays. We support prom season. We stock deodorant they’d actually want to use. We offer spaces where they can just be. Because restoring childhood isn’t only about toys and teddy bears. It’s about giving teens their teenage years back.
FAQS
1. What is foster care and how does it work in New Jersey?
Foster care provides a safe, temporary home for children who cannot live with their families due to abuse, neglect, or crisis. In New Jersey, children in foster care are placed with licensed foster parents or kinship caregivers while the state works toward reunification or another permanent solution.
2. How does The Village NJ support children in foster care?
The Village NJ offers a free “foster closet” where foster, kinship, and adoptive families can select clothing, shoes, hygiene items, and comfort supplies. This helps ensure children in foster care have essentials and feel valued during transitions.
3. Who can access The Village Foster Closet’s foster care resources?
Any licensed foster family, kinship caregiver, or temporary guardian caring for a child in foster care in Monmouth or Ocean County, New Jersey, can use The Village Foster Closet’s services.
4. Why is dignity important for children in foster care?
Children in foster care often arrive with little or no belongings. The Village NJ creates a store-like experience so kids can choose their items, promoting dignity, self-worth, and a sense of normalcy.
Foster Parents: You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
If you’re a foster parent considering welcoming a teen, here’s what we want you to know: You’re not alone!
There’s a community here, people ready to support you, answer late-night texts, drop off clothes, cheer you on.
And The Village? We’re here for the long haul. With essentials, encouragement, and zero judgment. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just be willing to try.
